Is this topic for real? Is this article going to reveal a way to stop binge eating and get rid of excess pounds? Absolutely! But if you happen to be a binge eater you might be reading this with a certain dose of skepticism; and frankly, I don’t blame you. I suspect that you have read every article on the subject and tried every diet as well as every miracle pill. And yet you are reading this, so my guess is that so far, nothing has worked… and lasted.

Are you a bit discouraged? I understand you. I have been there and so have many of my clients before I worked with them. Thus I encourage you to open your mind, release your judgment and read on to see how this article resonates with you.

How can I lose weight for good?

The answer is obvious; you can lose weight for good by changing your eating habits for good. If you are a binge eater, you will have to eliminate binge eating urges, because your extra weight is merely a negative side effect of your binge eating. So the real concern is how to stop binge eating. Let’s answer this challenging question by breaking it down one step at a time. .

Why do you find yourself eating too much?

For Beth, one of my clients, the answer was crystal clear: stress from work. During the day she was always busy and she was surrounded by co-workers, so she would eat small amounts of food, until she got home at night. It was during and after dinner that things would get tricky… Cookies or ice cream would become like magnets: she just couldn’t resist their pull. Her eating behavior was literally an “emotional barometer”. If things in her life were on the good side, her eating was moderate. On the other hand, a big binge meant that an “emotional storm” was going on! I found this was true for many of my clients. Indeed, food allows you to change the way you feel. It literally changes your body chemistry. Food is also a pleasure. So when you feel down, you know that food can alter that state and even bring you pleasurable sensations. You end up eating more than your body really needs.

Why is it so difficult to stop using food to feel better?

First, because it works very well! At least it seems like it. Who wants to feel miserable, especially when you have the power to avoid it? Food is such an easy tool to use for coping with life’s stress and challenges that it is almost irresistibly tempting to use it, even if after a while it becomes obvious that the adverse effects are serious and even life threatening.
Second, because habits are tough to change. When you have been “unwinding with food” for quite some time you get some big momentum using food which is just hard to interrupt instantly.

So what are the real options to eliminate binge eating?

Changing Focus:

Taking a hot bath or calling a friend. In other words: chang your focus. I came across this kind of advice in magazines and books. And I agree that they can be helpful if you can implement them, which implies that you are very present and aware of what you are doing. But in a big emotional turmoil most people lose their grounding. They get into a zone where awareness is missing. So there is no way that they can grasp and follow the recommendation to change their focus.

Developing Awareness:

The solution is therefore to be prepared so that you can stay grounded, and remain present and don’t reach that Binge Zone. How? The key word is Awareness. When you are fully aware: you are non-judgmental, which automatically puts you in the present moment. Being judgmental implies that you intellectually process your life situation and generate positive or negative thoughts and consequently positive or negative emotions. That is when you feel compelled to act up. Let me illustrate this with an example of one of my clients.

When Julie came back from her party she was devastated. She had realized that very few people seemed to show interest in her, she had felt like an outsider all evening. And then it hit her, she was the heaviest woman in the room. That awful and scary thought prompted a terrible feeling of inadequacy, powerlessness and shame. Soon after, Julie reached for the 2 pints of ice cream, switched on the TV and entered that binge zone where she entirely lost control of what she ate… What did happen to Julie? It all started with a negative thought, leading to a judgment: “I am so fat that people don’t even want to talk to me.” This was the root of Julie’s emotional storm.

Think of situations which trigger you to binge eat. What if, instead, you were not entertaining these negative thoughts? What if you were truly able to step outside of your judgmental mind? You would still intellectually process your life situation but this time without labeling it right or wrong, positive or negative. You would take the situation just as it is. In Julie’s case, being non judgmental would have translated into noticing what happens, accepting it and move on: “I haven’t been talking to many people tonight; oh well, it was nice to get out anyway. I’d better go to bed since I need to get up early tomorrow morning.” Such a simple shift of perspective allows you to stop your life from being this emotional rollercoaster which drains you so much and requires a way to cope with it like binge eating.

But I hear you already… “What if I realize that I have missed an important flight, or what if my boss fires me…?” The concept stays the same and it is even more helpful when the situations get serious. Keep that bigger perspective and take things as they are. Why? Does breaking down, change the reality of your situation? Does throwing a tantrum at everyone’s face empower you to deal with the situation in the best possible way? It generally makes it worse. Reality is what it is. Accepting reality as it is puts you in the NOW of your life, instead of in your head telling stories that are simply not true. Accepting reality instead of making up stories about the situation means that you are back in control, really living your life.

Being truly aware will free you from the need to cope. Binge eating is about denial, about finding a way to make feelings less painful. As you accept what happens to you in your life and stay present with it, as you face the reality as it is, you see that it is not as scary and frightening as your mind lead you to believe. You will be in a position to react more efficiently. You’ll become more grounded and confident in yourself.

How can you get there? Outside support can facilitate the process but you need to know that you don’t need anyone but You. Just tap into your inner wisdom and you’ll know what feels right. The only obstacle which can block you is yourself. If you are sincere in this process you will be successful. How can I be so sure? Overeating, binge eating is about denial. If you are honest with yourself you look at the reality of what is and deal with it instead of looking for ways to cope.
This is real. I wish you the best.

Isabelle

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